Talk:Nerd World/@comment-24352670-20140406182942
So, to copy some of my earlier notes (from a discussion thread I decided to abandon and delete) over to the comment section Chapter 0-1: So far, I have little negative to say, the one thing being that I have no idea how many points you can score in a round, so telling me Jane can score 78 means nothing to me. I like the idea and I like your writing style. First person narrative is brilliant when you have the skill set needed to give character development through narrative. Switching between characters from chapter to chapter is also something I'm quite fond of, though I haven't used it myself in a while. I look forward to read the strange facts and theoretical perspective on real-life situations that comes with having science geeks as main characters. Chapter 2-6: "If the Midwest were a person instead of a place..." I think you can trust your audience to know that the Midwest is a place. Even if they have never heard of it, they can tell from the name. "The part that everyone else swears they late." The typo is extra bothersome since I picture him narrating this in an overly dramatic tone. Other minor errors: "One one side" "It's not like we're not attached at the hip." (Also, a " missing right afterwards). Still going strong. I think it is nice to see first person narrative from such a wide range of characters, their intellect being the one thing they have in common. How the character's in the story feels about each other have been well established and a conflict-filled drama is ready to happen. Chapter 7-8: First, let's get the typo out of the way: "This game me time to..." Gave. I was a bit diappointed in chapter 7. The moment Ken spoke to the guy in front of him I was expecting that guy to be perfect for the competition and Ken to erase one of the signatures and convince that kid to join instead. I liked Ken saying that understanding people was his specialty, though. I actually get the impression that a high school might have two hierarchys - one for brains and one for brawn. It makes sense that two people from high up in different hierarchys would be civil, since they aren't direct competitors in any way. Also, you really made me wonder about the jocks vs nerd thing. Intuitively I'd think it was a thing back when those movies were made and it has gotten more civil since then. In fact, in my own experience high school was rather civil, and the bullying was more visible in elementary, at which point it was more about either the uber-social people looking down on the loners or the stupid people picking on the smart ones. I think it is a subconscious thing - that they knew we would end up with better jobs one day and back then was the only opportunity they had to feel somewhat superior. Chapter 9-11: Chapter 9 left me a bit confused since it was made quite obvious what Aaron was going to do, yet I got the impression he was attempting to be secretive towards the readers. Chapter 11 forced me to reconsider my first impression of Paul, because it seems really out of character for someone who "hates the game". I'm not really buying the prevent future cheating logic. Paul must like the game more than he is willing to admitt. Chapter 12: "It is truly remarkable how for this has gone" Far. I'm disappointed there was no mention of who the Valkeries would face and at what stage. I mean I'd assume semi-final against the raging nerds just because it would make sense in the story, but I feel like it should have been in there. Over-all, it's a bit of a sleeper chapter. No character development and no plot progression. At best it delivers some further insight to how popular the Trivia Master event is at the school. Explaining how each round work seems a bit unnecessary. I'd be more happy learning about it as the preliminaries are happening.